fuckyeahsorkinese

this is the best time to talk about a raise

• DONNA: The best I can cobble together from the small shards of information I've been able to overhear in the restroom and the Danish cart...
• JOSH: Donna...
• DONNA: Is it possible that there's a situation involving Sam, a woman, and CJ being denied information about something?
• JOSH: Okay. Here's what I'm gonna do.
• DONNA: Hide in your office?
• JOSH: No. I'm not gonna hide in my office. I'm gonna go into my office and devise a strategy. That is what I do. I'm a professional. I'm not a little boy.
• DONNA: Hmm. That's the spirit.
• JOSH: But if she calls, I'm at the dentist. I'll be back in an hour.
• DONNA: Got it.
• CJ: *sitting at Josh's desk*
• JOSH: *screams*
• CJ: Wow, are you stupid!

• DONNA: You owe me a hundred dollars.
• JOSH: For what?
• DONNA: I entered you in a college football pool.
• JOSH: Without telling me?
• DONNA: Well, it's kind of a surprise.
• JOSH: How did I do?
• DONNA: You lost a hundred dollars.
• JOSH: On who?
• DONNA: On Central Indiana State.
• JOSH: What was the line?
• DONNA: It wasn't really that kind of a pool.
• JOSH: What kind of a pool was it?
• DONNA: You just pick the winner.
• JOSH: You picked Central Indiana State?
• DONNA: The Fighting Okies.
• JOSH: Who are they playing?
• DONNA: Notre Dame.
• JOSH: You picked Central Indiana State against Notre Dame?
• DONNA: Well, technically, you did.

• JOSH: Someone give me a river to forge, a serpent to slay.
• CJ: What's his problem?
• DONNA: He's been drinking from the keg of glory. We're to bring him all the muffins and bagels in the land.

• RUSSELL: There are very serious men and women in the White House. A blow was struck for party unity this morning. There's no cause to gloat.
• CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - DAY
• JOSH: Victory is mine! Victory is mine! Great day in the morning, people. Victory is mine!
• DONNA: Good morning, Josh.
• JOSH: I drink from the keg of glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land.
• DONNA: It's gonna be an unbearable day.

put it on

• DONNA: You've been wearing the same clothes for 31 hours now, Josh.
• JOSH: I am not getting spruced up for these people, Donna.
• DONNA: All the girls think you look really hot in this shirt.