fuckyeahsorkinese

go go toby ziegler

• MIKE: Did you guys hear what Bertram Coles said on the radio?
• TOBY: Yeah.
• BOBBI: And?
• TOBY: The Secret Service investigates all threats made against the President. It's White House policy not to comment on those investigations.
• MIKE: Are you telling me there's going to be a criminal investigation?
• TOBY: ...I really can't comment on that right now. Damn, I gotta get back to my office.

there is no law; there is no decency

• LEO: There oughta be a law against it.
• TOBY: There is a law against it!
• JOSH: Why'd you get him started?
• TOBY: How about threatening the life of the President? He was talking to other people, how about conspiracy? Those were military officers, how about treason?!
• JOSH: Toby.
• TOBY: That was a member of our own party, Leo. That was a Democrat who said that!
• LEO: It's bad, I know.
• TOBY: That's it?
• LEO: Well, what are you gonna do?
• TOBY: Have the Justice Department bring him in for questioning pending felony charges.
• JOSH: Toby's right. What's the good of being in power if you're not gonna haul your enemies in for questioning?
• TOBY: We're really not gonna do anything about this?
• LEO: Yeah, Toby, because what we really need to do is arrest people for being mean to the President.

what'd he say?

• SAM: He was on the broadcast along with several officers from Cromwell Air Force Base when he said regarding the President being weak on defense: "Folks down here are patriotic, fiercely patriotic. The President better not be planning on making any visits to this base. If he does, he may not get out alive."
• TOBY: He said that?
• LEO: You believe it?
• TOBY: Sitting with military officers.
• JOSH: Don't take the bait.
• TOBY: Josh.
• JOSH: Don't take the bait.
• TOBY: You better believe I'm going to take the bait.

hey

• JOSH: How was last night?
• TOBY: The longest dinner of my life. The President was up from the table every five minutes teeing off on Cashman and Berryhill. He's barking at the Secretary of State, he's scaring the hell out of Fitzwallace, which I didn't think was possible. He's snapping at the First Lady. He's talking about blowing up half of North Africa.
• CJ: He's snapping at Mrs. Bartlet?
• JOSH: CJ, this might be a good time to tell the President about Sam and the call girl.
• TOBY: She knows?
• CJ: Yes, I'm afraid I have that information now, and I'll be in to see you very shortly my friend.
• TOBY: How the hell did I get into trouble?
• JOSH: Today, all you had to do was get out of bed.

• JOSH: All right... listen... fine... I'm a team player. I think my record is pretty clear on that.
• LEO: Yes.
• JOSH: As long as she understands that she answers to me and she answers to Toby. I don't want to have to go 15 rounds with her in the Oval Office.
• LEO: Toby, does that wrap it up?
• TOBY: Yeah.
• LEO: Thank you, everybody.
• JOSH: I'm going to draw a chart for her with lines and arrows, clearly indicating that she answers to me and she answers to Toby.

• JOSH: So you'll let us hire a media consultant? You'll let the DNC spend some money?
• LEO: Absolutely.
• TOBY: Who do we get?
• LEO: Mandy.
• TOBY: Excellent choice.
• JOSH: Yes... Wait, what?
• SAM: Mandy.
• CJ: Who is recently unemployed, and by the way, I don't think Josh has gotten enough credit for that.
• LEO: We need her again, Josh.
• JOSH: Mandy?
• LEO: We need her.
• JOSH: Wait a second. This is an ambush.
• LEO: Can you think...
• JOSH: I'm getting mugged and you're the gang leader.
• LEO: Can you think of a single reason not to use Mandy that isn't personal?
• JOSH: Sure.
• LEO: What?
• JOSH: She used to be my girlfriend!